Scary Perfect Songs and Why I am Stalled

Every now and then I will come across the perfect song for what I am feeling.  Sometimes, how I find these songs is creepy.  I once had a weird dream about Ted Nugent...someone who never crosses my brain!  I remembered this the next time I was in a record store and picked up the new Damn Yankees cd.  It was on sale and I liked them, so I bought it and was just blown out of my shoes by one of the songs.

My favorite band right now is Sixx AM.  I was playing their music on You Tube in my office and a song by James Michael and Halestorm came up.  Listened to it and loved it.  Played some more Halestorm.  LOVED it.  added them to my "to buy later" list.  Few days later, we were in a used cd store and not only do I find the new Halestorm cd, it also has the bonus tracks and is really cheap.  That was odd, but when I played this song, it became sorta creepy.

4 weeks ago I was so optimistic, ready to do something new...and then one day I just wanted to sleep all day.  The week went on and things just got worse.  I knew it was signs of depression, but nothing had changed with me other than hormonal issues from hell.  I did start feeling really bad when no one seemed to notice that I had stopped reading, didn't comment much on FB, etc.  Finally one friend did, someone I have only been friends with about 18 months.

I am awful at not being 100%.  The original Supergirl like the song says.  I do not know how to ask for "help" or how to even take it.  It's not fair to get mad at my family-they love me.  I will fake it for as long as I can because that was the way I grew up.  But sometimes I just need to not be the one in charge, the one who gets it done and holds everything together.  I know that this is dysfunctional, but not sure how to be different...